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Portraits

by Diaphane

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Cidimon Arustavi
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Cidimon Arustavi Raw but refined tracks, with a personal touch that sound to be thought through for quite some time. Favorite track: I Am A Window.
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1.
Sun it rises to find us still awake At the second story kitchen table Smoking feelings we could not shake Told me you were leavin in the mornin Well that's alright You were always halfway out the door Now it's just me, and the light And this bottle of wine How I hate how I waste myself sometimes And now as long as I'm confessing You were right We were always out of time Always out We were always out of time Always out We were always out of time Always out We were always out of time Always out, always out of time What's the point of a picture If it don't tell you just how I see it Your restless, hopeless, blue soul brown eyes Could only be reflections of mine Don't lie to me and say you want the truth I know you're just like me Mhm And the only truth you want Is the one that fits your needs If I had told you Tenn I'm in love You would have called me a liar Love would never fit in your plans And that's why I let it go Some people say you never know the truth Unless you let your heart speak And I'd agree But every picture I paint of you is another of me Except I believe it's not so naive To say to hell with a line in the sand But time won't stop Nor stay your hand Just move along with what you had planned Always out Always out of time Always out Always out of time Always out Always out of time Always out Always out of time Always out Always out of time Always out Always out of time Always out Always out of time Always out Always out of time
2.
If yesterday was today I'd be happier in my haze But we can't repeat a perfect wasted day And I think that's what scares me More than anything I design Is it worth a twenty dollar bill Of my own precious time Cause it truly is a currency Which I am loathe to spend And I wish that the bank had some to lend Cause it feels I'm running out Over again and all the same But I know I'm young and I should be ashamed What's the use of being sad when you're young We're all fucked up When you're young you go mad When you're young it goes bad All I want is a conversation With someone other than myself Bout something more abstract than the weather or my health But it always comes back To some blond haired boy Well you know I could care less Have fun with your toy Been lost and uninspired Falling through pretty books Guess I need some better some better place to look So I bought a ticket for the weekend Oh I need a change of scenery Maybe it's the drugs mama Maybe it's just me What's the use of being sad when you're young We're all fucked up When you're young you go mad When you're young When you're young When you're young you go mad When you're young you go mad When you're young you go mad When you're young, when you're young When you're young you go mad When you're young you go mad When I was young I went mad When I was young, when I was young When you're young you go mad When you're young you go mad When you're young you go mad You go mad, you go mad When you're young you go mad When you're young you go mad When you're young When you're young Hey let's all go mad
3.
I'd like to paint a picture Louder than holy scripture Hollywood's masterpiece starring Della Reese She's just 19 Born of angst and old pipe dreams A punk rock queen to me in acid jeans A thin white cigarette hangs like sudden death From her red painted lips she takes a breath Falls to ash till there's nothing left Do you know what happens next Stare into the eyes of your portrait And tell me again it don't look a bit like you When I tire of painting I speak my mind like an ass Don't worry about the fee this one's on me You know he's bound to miss you But that's not the issue It's what he means to you when you're youth is through When you're undrunk wide awake in empty sheets Will he be the one you never beat In a lover's game for keeps Do you know what happens next Stare into the eyes of your lover And tell me again it don't look a bit like him
4.
You can never really know me Past what I show you I can never really show you More than I've found But sometimes you see Parts I'd left unperceived Consciously or not I know all that I need now ooh Honestly I'll probably make you bleed Subconsciously instinctively you know everything You're ever gonna need And I am a window I will make you see through me See it my way This world is a shadow Projections, reflections can you see em Can you see through me Perfectly entwined You and I were meant to die Unusually disguised Truth in a lie You will find Honestly I'll probably make you bleed Subconsciously instinctively you know everything You're ever gonna need And I am a window I will make you see through me See it my way This world is a shadow Projections, reflections can you see em Can you see through me
5.
Picture perfect standing Silhouette in my doorway You ask me Do I look pretty Do not hesitate To appraise me And will you watch me walk out Into the night to break my own heart Will you watch me walk out Into the night to break my own heart Sweetheart dry your eyes The iris leaks While your mouth it smiles And tell me how you love him And how he'll hold you And hurt you And break you apart I can't watch you walk out Into the night to break your own heart again No I can't watch you walk out Into the night to break your own heart There's only so much That I can say to you If only half of it ever Gets through to you And I'll always do my best To brighten your day Though sometimes I can barely light my own way Sometimes everybody needs someone new Will I watch you walk out To bring this all back to the start Do you know what I am talking about How to break your own heart
6.
How 06:24
I'm tired Just wanna go home Haven't seen my mom in a real long time And I know how she feels alone Cause we're blood And I too feel it like a stone Well I just called to say I love you And Ma, I'm coming home These days Can't make it out of bed Open my eyes to the morning And I feel trapped in my own head And I wanna know What ever happened to laying in my room Writing songs for myself and no one else Loneliness to blame Young and unashamed How can I get back to that In my room Now I've exposed myself How You've been in love Such a long, long time True lovers never really come out quite alright On the other side But you'll be fine my friend There's really no use in being sad When you're young and untied Young and untied I haven't been in love In such a long, long time Wonder if I would recognize when it hits Oh but that's just it I can't commit to anything more than Just one goddamn hit Let me breathe you in Come on slow Alright okay I'm ready Take me, take me Alright okay I'm ready Take me, take me Alright okay already Love me, love me
7.
I was on the outside Looking in Trying to find something Of me in everyone else Now from the inside Hiding out Nothing I see is real Not even me Yes I can believe in anything I like Believe in me Turn up the music Out go the lights
8.
I know depression son It's nothing new in this family Remember your grandmother Ann Left me and Ken and Dad for another man The one you flew out to Wisconsin for When you were four and I could not Bring myself to face her Could not forgive her She broke my heart and that's forever Lost my mother when I was nine Some things just don't pass with time She was a drinker A hard liver and a self styled thinker And I'm sure you've found A mind can bring you down Wade in too deep and you start to drown Yes I've felt the weight of expectation And your frustration with how I saw myself I lost myself Nothing like losing someone else Each from good or broken homes We find a darkness all our own

about

Loosely a concept record, a series of portraits of those close to me and my own self-portraits, and a record of my 6 years in Philadelphia. This album was written and recorded over a number of years with the help of many talented friends and collaborators, and is near and dear to my heart as a remembrance of those times.

credits

released November 4, 2022

Kyle Blessing - Vox, Guitar, Organ, Piano, Synths, Violin, Viola
Jeff Ballew - Drums
Theo Dennis - Guitar, Vox, Synths, Lap Stee, Noise
Adam Mikhail - Bass, Vox, Synths, Bells

Sean Clark - Vox
Skyler Hagner - Barry Sax
Josh Jenkins - Piano
Joseph Kress - Trumpet
Kate Lord - Vox
Elise Mark - Vox
Anthony Massuchi - Alto Sax
Nigel Phillips - Vox
K.C. Raniero - Vox
Karena Teal - Vox
Liam Werner - Trumpet
Tom Whitney - Barry Sax

Recorded by Dan Angel, Adam Mikhail, Ethan Farmer, and Kyle Blessing
Mixed by Ethan Farmer
Mastered by Ryan Schwabe

Cover art by Sean Clark

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Diaphane Rapid City, South Dakota

An indie-rock band currently in it's high concept phase, cosplaying as a country band for the gays and theys.

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